love iii

How have I loved today?

And I'm not necessarily talking about telling someone I love them, or feeling in love with the day, or (hopefully) feeling in love with myself. Those are all grand and wonderful and all too seldom manifestations of our true purpose on this planet.

But I'm talking about going farther and deeper than many of us are generally comfortable with. I'm talking about love far beyond the Valentine's Day cards and gifts of roses and gentle lovemaking by the fire.

I'm talking about the kind of love that cracks open the center of who we think we are -- who we've come to expect ourselves to be.

Most of us are products of our parents, our history, our country, our culture, our religion. Most of us wouldn't recognize ourselves if we bumped into each other on the street. Actually, most of us would be horrified to see just how....manufactured we've become.

Most of our lives have very little to do with the true nature of love. True love is Shiva, the Destroyer, and Shakti, the Giver of Life -- and their dance. And their battle. And their union.

The same love that created the universe is within us right now. But we have hidden it away and softened it into weak poetry. Real love is ferocious. Real love is constant change. Real love is diving headfirst into the paradox of life. Real love isn't the answer. Real love is the question.

Most of us are so programmed to not upset the status quo, to walk the straight and narrow, to not question that we've become pale imitations of our true nature.

What words out there in the world offend you? Shit? Cock? Fuck? Pussy? Hell? Screwed? Goddamn? (And do we really think God is capable of being offended? Or any Higher Being who has transcended the ego? And if there are people on this planet who are not offended by these words -- and this God is offended -- then these people are more powerful than this God, which seems unlikely.)

And I am not talking about common courtesy and respecting other's sensitivities, I'm talking about our personal sensitivities.

Have you ever asked yourself why certain words offend you? Did someone tell you they were offensive early in your life? Did someone once use such a word to attack you? The absolute truth of the matter is that they are just words with only the power over us that we give them. They are not offensive: We are offended. The word did not attack us, a person did.

What does this have to do with the nature of love? Because everything in the world that limits us, the limits our imaginations, that limits our capacity to communicate passionately, that limits our humanity, limits love. And when our humanity is limited then that energy within us becomes trapped, stagnant and distorted and eventually spews out as rage, anger, rape, attack, abuse, judgment, hate, fear.

Our true human nature is the expression of love. Period. Anything that prevents that creates its opposite: fear. And then laws and institutions and governments are born to regulate our unnatural distortions of the natural expression of love.

(And, of course, at this point I must continue to stress that I am not talking about taking any power over another's informed free will, which is the ultimate distortion and attack upon love.)

And if we let simple things like words limit us -- control us -- then what else do we let into our lives that limits our capacity to give and receive a love that prys open our hearts and awakens our souls?

Love can be gentle, but it finds full throat in exaltation. And by exaltation I mean by embracing the full, multi-dimensional expanse of love.

Can we love our pain? Can we scream out our love to the heavens as cancers ravage our bones and loose our bowels? "Goddamn-it! I am alive! And I will leave this planet kicking and screaming! I will fight this life and I will fight this death! And then I will surrender into the bliss beyond all pain!" (A personal challenge I all too often fail at in the midst of my own pain.)

But can we also see our 'cancers' as powerful messengers and healers? Can we love them for their demanding love of us, a love that may result in their 'death' so that we can finally awaken and claim our rightful place in the Universe?

Can we love our lover? Can we take three hours journeying through every fold and ridge and valley of our lover? Can we push them up against the wall, ripping off clothes not caring how much the clothes cost or how new they are because we absolutely MUST have skin against skin, mouth against mouth, hair against hair, sweat against sweat -- NOW! Can we say "I want to make quiet love to you on the beach at midnight," but can we also whisper furiously into the ear: "I want to fuck you up against the wall now!"?

Can we question authority all the time -- every time? Even our own?

Can we hold the friend's head as they vomit up their emptiness and well as hold their hand when there is nothing to be said?

Can we love a rose and also semen and menstrual fluid?

Where do stop ourselves from the full experience of being a human? Because someone somewhere at sometime said a certain physical act or body part is "dirty"? Who said the "lower" chakras are something to be risen above? In the multi-dimensional universe there is no "lower." There is no "higher." There is no up and no down. It all IS. Everything contributes to the whole. Nothing is wasted. Nothing is an accident. Each serves the other equally.

To be fully in love is to be fully human. To be fully human is to be fully divine. To be fully divine is to be fully present. To be fully present is to live without judgment and fear. To be without judgment and fear is to be fully in love.

We must not limit how love shows up in our lives or how we share it with others. Love is everywhere. Love is everything.

Love is even where there seems to be no love at all.

This search and grasp and understanding -- and questioning -- is the journey of the spiritual adult.